


This Side

by Kishock



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10017875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kishock/pseuds/Kishock
Summary: It's been three months since the defeat of Nero and Hikaru has just been given a permanent assignment on the Enterprise. Now he must find a way to tell Ben. However, he fears that being away so long on a ship may be what brings their relationship to a close. After all, he never intended to fall in love during his time at the Academy. Surprisingly, that’s not the only thing putting a strain on Hikaru. Ben has adopted a cat, one that does not seem to like Hikaru and is surprisingly good at making him ask himself uncomfortable questions about his career, relationship and future.Written for the BenKaru BigBang 2017 on TumblrMieaou's Art





	1. Chapter 1

The Academy halls are still eerily vacant, as they have been for the past few months. Hikaru once griped about the crowded halls to Pavel because a sea of bodies nearly made him late for several classes. Now though, the emptiness haunts him. He can’t recall even holiday weekends leaving the corridors this empty or the cafeteria with so few trays on the tables in the nearly four years he’s been here.

It’s just one way of Nero reminding them all that he may be dead but he succeeded enough.

The burning incense laid out on the edges of the Vulcan IDIC statue outside is another.

Hikaru’s grip tightens around the strap on his backpack as he heads for the captain- _Admiral-_ Pike’s office. Jim Kirk already relieved him as captain of the _Enterprise_ which is… strange, to say the least.

 _That Kirk has got heart, don’t get me wrong,_ Hikaru thinks to himself as he walks down the hall that has windows viewing the bay outside. Looking out, he can see the force-field glowing beneath the water where it’s keeping the hole from the Narada’s drill plugged until they can figure out how to fill it again. _But he doesn’t have the experience save for the sheer damn luck he had with Nero._

He doesn’t dwell on the thought though. Hikaru’s not jealous anyhow. If Jim wants that position so soon and with so little to guide him, he can have it. **_I_** _wouldn’t want to be advanced like that. Not so soon anyhow._ Hell, a part of him could have sworn that he saw a flicker of doubt in Jim’s eyes for a split moment when he was being given the promotion. Hikaru almost felt bad.

After all, even after what they had been though, running a starship is about a lot more than chasing bad guys through space. Kirk just doesn’t seem like the diplomatic guy he needs to be for this. Not just yet.

Hikaru finally arrives to the Admiral’s office, but before he can press the buzzer, the door slides open. He does a slight jump in surprise and looks up to see Kirk standing there. He’s surprised as well for a moment but he quickly gives Hikaru a shining grin and a nod.

“Excuse me, Mr. Sulu, I was just leaving,” he says. Then he steps aside to let Hikaru walk by.

“No problem,” Hikaru says before giving a polite smile. Seeing Jim again, looking quite confident, Hikaru can recall how this man saved his life and he figures that he himself would be willing to follow him again someday. “See you later then,” Hikaru says as he steps into the office.

“Hopefully!” Kirk says, winking before taking off. Hikaru doesn’t have time to question it, though just before the door slides shut he hears a “Hey Spock!” in the distance. Hikaru wonders just how long Jim will get to be captain before irritates the Commander too much. Again.

“Mr. Sulu, come on in,” Pike says, drawing Hikaru’s attention. It’s been months but still, Hikaru can’t help but wonder how a guy that had a parasite clamped on his spine can be so happy and carefree. Or _seemingly_ at least. Pike is an expert at keeping personal, especially medical issues, private.

As Hikaru stays near the door, Pike is beside his old bookshelf. There’s a box in his lap, he’s stacking old paperbacks inside along with various trinkets he’s collected over the years. Sometimes he’ll pause on an item, smile fondly and gently set it in the box. A part of Hikaru feels awkwardly quiet and wants to ask about some of the little statues and such but thankfully Pike breaks the silence first.

“At ease, Mr. Sulu,” he says with a smile in Hikaru’s direction. Hikaru hadn’t even realized he’d been standing so stiff but Hikaru nods and allows himself to relax and shift his weight to one foot. Pike turns his chair and heads over to his desk. “I’m glad you made time for me. I understand that you are using the break to go on a trip.”

Hikaru nods, “Yes, sir. I’m going to Risa with my boyfriend though we don’t leave until tomorrow. But even if the shuttle left today, I’d still make the time to be here.”

Pike smiles at that, setting his box on the desk before reaching for a PADD. “I don’t think Ben would appreciate being delayed but I’m sure he’d understand all the same.” He sets the PADD in his lap and pushes his chair over to Hikaru, smiling up at him proudly. “I’m sure you still have preparations to make for that trip so I’ll make this quick.” He hands Hikaru the PADD and says, “It isn’t necessary that I present this to you in person but I wanted to get the chance to congratulate you.”

Hikaru is puzzled for a moment and takes the PADD. It’s too soon for it to be his official graduation certification since that’s still two months away. Reading over the information before him though, he develops a strange feeling of both pride and fear.

**_Sulu, Hikaru:_ ** _to be assigned as primary Helmsman aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise._

So many emotions and concerns come bubbling up but Hikaru can’t get a grip on any single one of them. Apparently he takes too long to respond though since Pike’s smile has faded and he’s tilting his head, looking a little concerned now.

“Something wrong, Cadet?”

“No, sir!” Hikaru says quickly, cheeks burning pink when he realizes that Pike must be thinking that Hikaru doesn’t want the position at all. “I am _honored_ to be assigned to the _Enterprise._ I just…”

Pike holds up a hand to stop him, though smiles somewhat sadly in understanding. “Relationships are difficult when in uniform. Especially on a ship. Either your partner is a civilian and can’t be right there with you or they’re an officer and quite unlikely to be assigned to the same ship or station.” He lets out a small breath and pats Hikaru’s arm before turning to head back to his desk. “But Ben will understand,” Pike insists, looking over his shoulder to smile that knowing wise-father kind of smile.

Hikaru can’t quite muster up his own smile though. He simply nods and keeps staring at the document. The official departure date is three days after graduation. It’s both understandable and anxiety provoking that so many students are being rushed to the finish line and onto a ship in order to try and make up somewhat for the officers lost to Nero.

No one has even destroyed an entire planet like that before though. So perhaps it’s a _little_ more understandable than not.

Even though Hikaru is actually graduating on time, he did expect to be assigned somewhere soon after graduating. However, he and Ben thought it would be a position as a shuttle pilot for the spacedock or something close by like that until a starship came through in need of him.

And even then, Hikaru was not expecting it to be the _flagship of the new fleet._

“If you really don’t want the position—”

Hikaru shakes his head, tucking the device under one arm and saluting Pike. “Duty comes first and I really am honored to start my career with a place on the _Enterprise.”_

Pike salutes back; there’s a twinkle in his eyes.

Hikaru is finally able to give a smile of his own. “You’re right though, Ben will understand.”

And later when Pavel is driving Hikaru to Ben’s apartment, that’s exactly what he keeps trying to convince himself of.

“You worry too much,” Pavel tells him, chuckling from the driver’s seat. He leans forward while driving, almost hunching like a small old man on the lookout for the kids who stepped on his lawn.

Hikaru doubts that the little old man needs to be lecturing him though. Wasn’t Pike’s attempt enough? “Ben means a lot to me. I don’t want to lose him,” Hikaru says eventually.

Pavel gives his friend a little huff, rolling his eyes before pulling up to Ben’s apartment complex and parking next to the sidewalk. He doesn’t let Hikaru out just yet though.

Just as Hikaru is reaching to push his door open, the lock engages and he turns to see Chekov with his hand on the child-safety locking mechanism. Hikaru _could_ lean over and press the button himself but that would involve wrestling Pavel and he’s really not up for horsing around. So he turns his attention fully to Pavel, propping his elbow on the arm rest. “What else then, oh wise little czar?”

Not even blinking at the ridiculous jab, Pavel points a finger at Hikaru, looking at him sternly. “You. Worry. Too. Much.” And before Hikaru can give him some lousy appeasement of empty words, Pavel reaches over to give him a light punch on the arm. “I mean it. Just talk. You make things worse when you worry about personal problems. You get to overanalyzing things and you turn into a hermit of conspiracies that all eventually prove to be wrong.”

Deep down, Hikaru knows Pavel is hitting the mark. His pride, however, rejects it; he _can’t_ be that predictable. This situation is different. Pavel’s just stuffing his head but it won’t help.

“I do _not_ make things worse. I just need time to figure out how to talk to Ben about this,” Hikaru insists, though he’s crossing his arms defensively and avoiding Pavel’s gaze. He’s trying to convince himself of something they _both_ know isn’t the truth.

A part of Pavel is a little scared for Hikaru. If he bottles this, he’ll worry Ben and cause a rift. Especially since Hikaru, on a late night after a few “tonics” to deal with the stress of the funeral service for the dead officers, confessed to Pavel. He told Pavel about knowing that Ben is the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Besides, it’s not like Ben would ever expect Hikaru’s career to keep him close by. The man is far more realistic than Hikaru is giving him credit for and that’s another thing that worries Pavel. Hikaru clearly isn’t letting himself see all the outcomes except the worse possible one.

With a sigh, Pavel finally unlocks the door and Hikaru goes to push it open as soon as he hears the click.

“You do make things worse,” Pavel says, one last time. He looks up at Hikaru, who’s reaching down for his backpack. “Just not when on duty, which is good, but don’t stress out Ben. He’s nice to me and saves me dessert sometimes.” He smiles and Hikaru can’t help but laugh a little, letting the tense mood slip away for the most part.

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to ruin the important relationship _you_ have with Ben.” He hoists his backpack over one shoulder. “Thanks for the ride, Pav,” he says with a nod, though just before closing the door he adds, “I’ll see you Tuesday. And if I haven’t talked to Ben by then, kick my ass will ya?” His smile his genuine, because Pavel did make him feel more relaxed for the moment. He knows his friend cares and even if the kid might still be, well, a _kid,_ he’s still pretty observant. And he really likes sweets.

Hopefully Hikaru won’t lose his footing and ruin things before it’s too late though. Right now he’s not sure he has the strength to talk to Ben as soon as today but… definitely soon.

“I will be sure to do that for you, friend,” Pavel says, looking a little _too_ happy at the idea but just says his goodbye after that and Hikaru closes the door.

As Pavel drives away though, he sighs a little too himself because he knows his Academy roommate too well.

*******

As expected, the apartment is empty when Hikaru arrives. Well, not entirely anyway. He looks around to admire some of the potted plants while taking off his boots by the door. Ben has allowed him to bring over several specimens in the last two years. The massangeana cane stands looking quite healthy by the couch. However, the orchids near the window clearly need Hikaru’s attention.

Content to let the plants distract him for the moment, he sets down his backpack on the couch and goes to the bathroom to retrieve the spray bottle. It’s when he steps inside he notices the litter box in the corner and pauses. There’s even a black, rubber mat in front of it and there’s litter tracked on it already.

_“Mrrraou!”_

Turning suddenly, Hikaru looks down to where the strange, cranky sound came from only to find a… a…

“Why are you naked?” Hikaru can’t help but ask even though the cat… _thing_ can’t talk. Well he’s not really sure if this is a cat at all. Not entirely. There’s no fur save for the whiskers on its face. The whole body is pink though there are splotches that look rather gray, almost purple in some areas, like weird bruises. There are _so many_ wrinkles though. But it seems too small and young to have those wrinkles. “Kinda like Pav,” Hikaru murmurs to himself. The cat walks towards him and Hikaru can’t help but take a step back.

He’s not exactly _afraid_ or anything. He just doesn’t want to be touched by something so… gross looking.

 _“Mrrrhhh,”_ it hisses. The bright, wide yellow eyes pierce into Hikaru’s as it crouches slightly and begins slinking closer. The tail is whapping back and forth now and Hikaru doesn’t think that’s a good sign. Suddenly it hisses at him again and he nearly trips over the litter box. He apologizes, which boggles his mind, and steps around the tiny beast. It hisses at him again, rather fierce and unaccepting of his apology.

“Shit, sorry!” He yelps, hurrying out of the bathroom. Before the wrinkled devil could follow him, he shuts the door behind him. “Am I in the right apartment?” He asks himself, though he knows it’s a stupid question. He just never expected to come home to _that. **Ever.**_

 _Why didn’t Ben tell me he got a cat?_ Hikaru rushes back into the living room to get his PADD and type up a message to Ben. Ben won’t be home for another hour or so but he could at least offer some explanation and perhaps even some advice on dealing with the thing.

After sending the message, Hikaru hears more meows from the bathroom accompanied with scratching at the door. He ignores it for now. As long as they’re in there with the litter box, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Hikaru just goes to the kitchen sink to get the plant food. He can still tend to the flowers while he waits for Ben and any growling coming from the bathroom can easily be ignored as if it was just the hum of an old motorcycle engine revving up outside. Yeah, he’ll just focus on the now for a bit.

And maybe think on what he’s going to say to Ben about both the new assignment and the cat.

Mostly the cat though.

*******

_It’s such a nice day,_ Ben thinks to himself as he pulls his car out of the school parking lot. Some of his students wave to him when he passes the waiting area for buses, and he happily waves back with a smile.

Before he can head home though, he needs to stop at the store for a few things. He mentally goes over a list but it’s hard to concentrate since he’s so excited for the vacation with Hikaru. They leave tomorrow after all. Hopefully. With the sudden decision of his aunt to move to Andoria, she wasn’t able to take all of her cats. It’s sooner than Ben expected, anyway.

And Ben is so happy he got the cutest kitten. Still though, if his brother isn’t able to watch her while they’re away, he and Hikaru might have to make new plans or chance that the cat won’t be too stressed from going on the trip with them.

Ben smiles at the thought though. Going on vacation with Hikaru is going to be enjoyable no matter if they go to Risa or end up just staying in a hotel on a pretty beach here on Earth. Bringing the cat could be nice too. She’s pretty calm and loves cuddling.

When he gets to the store, Ben grabs a hand basket and checks the time on his communicator but notices the new message left there for him. From Hikaru.

**_Hikaru [PADD]:_ ** _Found the cat. It doesn’t like me at all. They’re in the bathroom. What do I do?_

Well, there goes the positive mood. If Hikaru has her in the bathroom, then it’s likely she tried to scare him out of the house. Ben sends a message back saying he’ll be home soon and that Hikaru should just relax and order a pizza or something. He then yawns before making his way to the pet food section to get some cat treats. Maybe if he gives Hikaru something nice to give to Shika, she’ll be friendlier to him. That’s his hope anyway.

Other than that, he picks up the few other things he needed. Mostly just snacks and drinks for the ride to Risa since he’s never much cared for what’s served on transportation ships. By the time he heads back to the car though, he gets another message.

**_Hikaru [PADD]:_ ** _What’s their name anyway?_

Ben chuckles but doesn’t text back. He’ll be home soon enough and he’d rather introduce Hikaru properly in person. With a sigh, he gets back into the driver’s seat and turns on the engine as well as some tunes. Something cheery though since his mood really needs it. He’s kind of wanting to just go home and nap instead of dealing with this because spending the day trying to get his nine year old students to read poetry and take it somewhat seriously always does that to him.

However, there’s no option to nap when he gets home. He walks in to find Hikaru trying to care for the orchids by the window; the scene would be rather natural and welcoming if it wasn’t for the irritated cat growling from the bathroom and scratching at the door.

“Was that really necessary?” Ben asks, though he’s not really mad or anything. He sets the bags on the counter and Hikaru turns to him, just realizing that Ben had walked in.

“She attacked _me!”_ Hikaru insists.

“She’s a cat!” Ben smiles though, feeling silly for them both. He could never have predicted that Hikaru Sulu would be so thrown off by a little cat. He goes to open the door and smiles as Shika instantly stops making a fuss and instead purrs at the familiar sight, rubbing against Ben’s leg. Hikaru frowns at this, seeing her no longer represent the evil he could have sworn he saw in her earlier. “See? She’s not so bad. You probably just scared her.”

Hikaru rolls his eyes. “I did not. I was in the bathroom trying to get the spray bottle for the plants and she came in there trying to intimidate me.”

Bending down to pick Shika up, Ben is all smiles as he pets her softly. “Shika is too sweet for that. I’m sure you misinterpreted her.” He walks past Hikaru, nudging him playfully with one shoulder before heading to the kitchen. Hikaru could swear that he saw a smirk on that little hell-beast’s face as she sat comfortably in Ben’s arms.

“Why would you name a cat Shika?” Hikaru asks, trying to change the subject. Ben is here now and she seems calmer so Hikaru doesn’t feel the need to worry about her too much anymore.

Though he is suspicious.

“I didn’t name her. My aunt did.”

“I see. So why wasn’t I told you were going to get a cat? Doesn’t seem like a decision to make on the fly like this.” Hikaru looks through the bag Ben brought in and pulls out the cat treats, making a face of disgust. _Liver and tuna?_ He might not be able to eat later just thinking about these things.

“Excuse you!” Ben says as he frowns at Hikaru. “I _told_ you that I might be getting one of my aunt’s cats.”

“Well you could have told me that I was coming home to a small, wrinkly demon!” Hikaru realizes his temper is flaring for no reason so he takes a moment to do a little deep breathing. _You always make things worse, Hikaru._

Ben sets Shika on the counter and goes to get a bowl of water for her. “Shika is very nice and I thought she would be a welcome surprise seeing as she’s just a kitten.”

 _“That_ little old man is a kitten?” Hikaru asks, not sure he believes it. She’s small and short but he figured that that was just how the naked ones looked. Knowing she still had growing to do, wrinkles to add, Hikaru shudders.

After setting down the bowl of water for Shika, Ben goes over to Hikaru and gives him another shove. “You’re ridiculous,” he says, shaking his head while a little smile can’t help but tug at his lips. “Why don’t you open the treats and feed her a few? I know she’ll—”

Suddenly Ben’s communicator goes off, beeping several times. A call. He gives Hikaru a look that reads clearly “just do it” and goes to answer his device. The ID says it’s from his brother and Ben silently hopes there’s good news to come of this conversation. _Something_ should go right today.

Ben steps into the bedroom to take the call. “Hello?”

 _“Little brother, how are you?”_ comes that familiar voice. It always makes Ben frown slightly when he gets called that. He’s a grown man god damn it!

“I’m fine, June,” Ben replies, rubbing the back of his neck as he awaits the answer to his request for cat-sitting. “So will you be able to take Shika for the week?”

His brother sighs from the other end and Ben tenses; he knows Hikaru and he can working something else out if June can’t take Shika but it’s still another thing to have to fuss around with and figure out. Which is not what he wants.

_“The girlfriend says she’s allergic, so I won’t be able to take the kitty.”_

“She’s hairless though!”

_“I said that and she says it can still bother her allergies.”_

“I see.” Ben frowns. His brother’s girlfriend has never liked Ben and he _knows_ she’s just making excuses to keep June from being able to help him. _Again._ Yet Ben knows that June must be aware as he’s not a dense man at all. So Ben is hurt a little too. “That’s fine. We’ll figure this out then. Thanks for letting me know.”

_“I’m sorry, Ben.”_

“It’s okay!” Ben tries his best to smile, hoping to erase any tone of disappointment so June won’t guilt Ben into feeling the need to apologize for making **June** feel guilty. He barely holds his breath to keep from reminding June that he didn’t help Ben fix his car when it broke down, or help Ben when he needed a ride while said car was in the shop _or_ help Ben when he first moved to San Francisco; the cat was just another situation he would have to handle himself.

A situation Ben should have **known** he’d have no help from June with. “I’ll just call someone else next time,” he says, though there’s no bite to his words at all. However, June clearly picked up on the implication but doesn’t bother forming a rebuttal.

All the years of making Ben feel responsible for both of their problems has left June with the ability to use mere silence as a form of punishment, so he stays quiet.

“Bye, June.” Ben hangs up after that. He’s not about to waste any more time with that conversation.

He goes back into the kitchen and sees Hikaru holding out a treat for Shika. She’s staring up at him expectantly though looks ready to pounce. Hikaru doesn’t seem to understand that he needs to put it down since he’s just frowning. “Eat it already!”

“Bad news,” Ben says, crossing his arms as he leans against the doorway. Hikaru turns to him with concern. Shika takes the moment to knock the treat from Hikaru’s hand. “Shika doesn’t have a sitter for the week so… we need to work something else out.”


	2. Chapter 2

The mood for the evening definitely isn’t going to go into recovery anytime soon. At least not for Hikaru. Ben doesn’t seem as bothered as him.

They both know that when it comes to asking June for anything, there has never been a whole lot of expectation for a “yes” before. Hikaru wonders why Ben even bothers to ask the guy but then again Hikaru doesn’t have siblings so he likely couldn’t understand.

Ben can see that Hikaru is practically growing white hairs just thinking over all the scenarios of their vacation being ruined, so Ben changes the subject for now.

The two of them set aside the subject of Shika and the trip for now though and simply order Mexican food.

Later when they’re actually sitting down to eat, Hikaru is rather annoyed when Shika comes pestering Ben for some chicken, though the man seems quite happy to oblige.

“So how was your class today?” Hikaru asks as he pours himself some ice tea from the pitcher. Ben takes a sip of his own tea before making a “so-so” gesture with one hand.

“Went okay. Apart from trying to get the kids to appreciate some poetry from the 22nd century, it wasn’t so bad,” Ben explains. Shika meows loudly before Hikaru can ask who the poet writers were.

“Is this what she does?” Hikaru asks, frowning in disapproval as Ben takes out another piece of chicken from his burrito and drops it on the floor. Shika scurries over, quickly gobbling it up before looking to Ben expectantly once more. “And should you really be spoiling her?”

Ben is smiling down at Shika as he pat his lap, inviting her to hop up. “She’s a good cat and chicken is her favorite,” Ben explains. Shika pounces onto his lap, though she’s not content there. So she hops onto the table and Hikaru’s nose wrinkles in disgust from having the animal there while they’re eating. Especially when she turns around and all Hikaru can see is her horrid, wrinkled behind. He turns away to avoid the oncoming nauseous feeling.

 _“I’m trying to eat!_ She can’t be on the table,” Hikaru grumbles. He doesn’t want to sound snappy but it’s hard. Shika doesn’t pay attention to him though. In fact the brat is busy trying to crouch beside Ben’s plate to help herself to the open end of the burrito with all that delicious chicken bulging out of it.

However, Ben finally draws the line and lifts Shika up to place on his lap again. “She’s testing her boundaries, okay? We’ll be able to set them and in time she’ll come to understand them. Mostly.” He gives a small smile as he scratches Shika behind the ear. She doesn’t try to get back onto the table; perhaps ear scratching will keep her calm for a bit.

“Can’t we hire a cat trainer or something?” Hikaru asks. He’s moving around the rice on his plate now since Shika’s ruined his appetite for now. _Damn her and her wrinkles!_

Ben laughs, which makes Hikaru’s eye twitch. “Cats aren’t dogs. They’re too smart to be trained so easily. We’d be wasting time and credits on that. Besides, she’s a descendant of my great grandmother’s cat.” He pets Shika fondly at that before she decides she’s had enough and hops down to leave. Hikaru is grateful that she’s gone although it would have been better if she left sooner. “She’ll come to know us and we’ll know her, but we can never hope to teach her to sit and stay or roll over.”

Grumbling a little, Hikaru props his face in one hand, leaning on the table as he pushes his plate away. “I’m not wanting a dog either. I just don’t like her doing… _that.”_ He’s not sure what “that” is though. So far everything she’s done are things he doesn’t like.

Not knowing what “that” is either, Ben just takes another bite of his burrito to think it over. Ben gives some thought to the situation as he chews. Hikaru is not usually this annoyed with anything. Not really.

“Do you hate her?” Ben eventually asks, though his words are so quiet Hikaru almost didn’t hear them. If it was true that Hikaru just hated Shika, it would break Ben’s heart.

The question does surprise Hikaru, though after a moment he realizes that yeah, he definitely is giving off that impression. He shakes his head. “I don’t hate her. I’m just annoyed I suppose. It shouldn’t last long.”

Ben moves closer so he can hug Hikaru around the shoulders, kissing his temple. “I do not want to upset you… I will find her a better home if I must.”

Something about that statement both warms Hikaru _and_ makes his stomach drop. He can plainly see that Ben really likes this cat and yet he’d be willing to give her up if it meant Hikaru was happy. “I wouldn’t want that. Ever,” Hikaru assures, looking to Ben with a sincere little smile. “She’s good company for you. I will learn to get along. I just grew up as an only child with no pets other than a goldfish but as you can imagine, they do not hop on furniture and make loud noises.”

They both laugh about that, feeling the tension ease before leaning in to share a kiss. Hikaru sighs, happy to be here with Ben. Nothing could take away the warm feeling he gets just from being with him.

As Ben pulls away, Hikaru leans over to steal another kiss when he notices the cat walking back into the living room. She looks quite satisfied with herself as she hops onto the couch for a nap.

Hikaru is even more suspicious than before but doesn’t say anything. He just wants to enjoy having Ben to himself for a while. It’s not often he gets to do this. Normally he doesn’t have much time to go off campus, much less spend the night.

Turning back to Ben, Hikaru smiles. “I love you,” he murmurs, just leaning against Ben’s shoulder for a bit. He likes that Ben is a little taller than him. He’s good to rest on.

“I love you too, Karu.”

***

Later on, Ben is busy loading their dishes into the recycler when he suddenly hears Hikaru shout “FUCK!” from the bedroom.

The silverware can wait for now, so he goes to check on his anxious, bitch-ass boyfriend. “What is it?” Ben asks when he gets to the room. Hikaru is standing by the foot of the bed, back turned to Ben as he examines his cadet jacket.

When Hikaru finally turns, it’s to show Ben the big wet stain on the sleeve. “Your cat pissed on my jacket!”

Ben looks at it and chuckles awkwardly. His cheeks are red as he tries to hide his smile with one hand. It’s pointless since Hikaru is already steaming. “It’s no big deal, Karu. It can be easily cleaned so just throw it in the hamper and I’ll take care of it tonight.”

Hikaru is still frowning as he huffs and carries the jacket over to the basket of clothes on the other side of the room. “It’s gross and I don’t want that to happen again.”

“Look, it was probably Shika’s way of saying she likes you. Cats pee on things that belong to people they like, or something like that.” He can’t quite remember, but Ben does recall his aunt explaining something similar when he was five and his favorite stuffed animal needed to be washed. She might have just said that to make his tears stop but it definitely happened more than once, and those cats did love him quite a bit. Always happy to see him and cuddle him even when he was sick in bed. “It’s not hard to clean, Karu. Just relax.”

Hikaru doesn’t look like he’ll relax any time soon. In fact, he goes looking through all his things to make sure there aren’t any other new stains he needs to know about.

“Why don’t we go out for a bit? Catch a movie or something?” Ben suggests. He smiles fondly though as Hikaru goes about moving anything of his off the floor so he can put them on a higher shelf. As if _that_ would stop Shika if she wanted to pee on something again.

Hikaru is not so happy though. His frustration is worse than before. “We have to sort out the vacation situation,” he nearly growls, which makes Ben gasp. Hikaru catches it as well and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes in order to will himself to calm down. “Sorry. I… we both know your brother would never have agreed to take the cat. And right now we don’t know if Risa would accept non-native animals.”

Ben waves it off. He’ll deal with all that himself. “Leave it to me. First thing in the morning I’ll call. Our shuttle doesn’t leave until 7pm anyway.”

Hikaru wants to insist that he help, but given how his attitude is, maybe it _is_ best he left it to Ben. So he nods. “I suppose that’s true.” He gives up on trying to store things up top and walks over to Ben, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles. “Let’s do something then. We could catch a movie at the theater down the street. That would be nice.”

“Great,” Ben agrees, leaning forward to kiss Hikaru’s forehead. “Come on then, Starfleet.” Tugging on the other’s hand, Ben leads the way to the living room. “Keep an eye on things while we’re gone,” he tells Shika as they get their shoes on. She only stirs enough to _mrrroow_ at them before going right back to napping. Ben laughs quietly.

Once both men are prepared, Hikaru opens the door and waits for Ben to step out so he can follow. They clasp hands once more and walk down the stairs together.

Already the fresh air is lifting Hikaru’s mood a little and he’s able to push the assignment to the back of his mind. Right in this moment he just wants to enjoy the afternoon.

“How was your day?” Ben asks when they begin walking down the sidewalk. The theater isn’t too far and Ben doesn’t much feel like driving so both silently just agree to trek there on their own two feet.

“It was fine,” Hikaru manages to say. _Just focus on the now._ “Advanced physics was interesting since the professor couldn’t make it in but Pavel was more helpful than the substitute.”

Ben laughs. “That boy! I’m surprised to hear that.” He thinks back to one dinner that Pavel joined them for. Somehow Pavel ended up trying to explain some theory or another to Ben, although he’s not entirely sure _what_ it was no matter how hard he tries to recall. “I can’t imagine that hearing an endless string of formula from his mouth would be more helpful. He talks a mile a minute!”

With a shrug, Hikaru goes on. “The substitute was a linguistics professor. He’s been teaching it for years and he certainly hasn’t been assigned to a starship in quite some time.

“Then why was he the substitute?”

Hikaru’s face goes rather blank as he recalls the answer. “Professor G’phyv was the other expert but he was assigned to the _Ascension_ when we got the call to Vulcan.”

They both go quiet and Ben squeezes Hikaru’s hand in comfort just as they get to the crosswalk. While they wait for the light to turn, they both end up reflecting on what was lost just a few months earlier.

When Hikaru got home from that mission, he was feeling quite withdrawn. Ben had never experienced that kind of pain before. He had felt both scared and hurt _for_ someone. So much so that, briefly, Ben almost felt like Hikaru would be better off without him. Ben just hadn’t felt strong enough to help him at the time.

Ben isn’t one to dwell too much, so he tries to distract Hikaru a little. “Do you remember Jacob?”

“Jacob?”

“Remember? You came to one of my parent-teacher conferences with snacks and stuff. Jacob was the only student there because his parents didn’t have a sitter.”

“Oh!” Hikaru thinks back to that day. Ben’s heart flutters when a smile begins to form on Hikaru’s face. “He kept telling me weird jokes. I think they were supposed to be obscure references from the 21st century.”

“That’s him!” Ben smiles in return. The light finally changes and they cross the street. The theater is just down the block now. “He wanted to know how you were doing and hoping he could get a tour of the Academy campus someday.”

“They do those all the time in the summer. He could easily sign up for one,” Hikaru says, though he’s touched that the boy asked about him.

“A tour with _you_ , silly!”

“Oh.” Hikaru turns pink from not having realized that. Jacob was a funny kid, and Hikaru definitely wouldn’t mind doing something like that. Hopefully he can find the time before graduation.

“I think he considers you a friend. No adult has ever given him the time of day like you did,” Ben adds. He wants to be a friend to all his students but making time for every kid like that can be hard. Hikaru was so good about it though; sitting with him at the kid tables to draw old car models and listen to Jacob’s many “jokes.”

“I was just listening, really.” Hikaru is a little sad to think that Jacob’s parents might not be giving him the same attention once in a while at the very least.

“You’ve always been great with kids.” Ben smiles softly as Hikaru ducks his head against Ben’s shoulder. The city is turning orange and pink now as the sun sets. Ben enjoys it best that way.

As they finally enter the theater, Hikaru isn’t sure how to reply. It’s too soon in their relationship to even think about kids together. Hell, Hikaru doesn’t even know if Ben would _want_ to be with him that long; with someone who has to be off-planet so often once his career gets going.

And Hikaru does have a lot of love to give. Just _not_ to a cat.

But it’s an endearing thought to know that Ben recognizes that potential in Hikaru. The same potential he sees in Ben.

“Popcorn?” Ben asks, interrupting Hikaru’s thought trail. It seems Ben’s bought the tickets so Hikaru nods and gets in line for the concession stand. Ben stands beside him looking at the candy list on the glowing screen above the popcorn machines.

“I’ll see if I can make time for Jacob in the next few weeks,” Hikaru says after a moment.

Ben smiles. “That would be amazing. If you could give his family a week or two notice in advance, that would be great.”

“I already plan out my schedule over a month in advance so, yeah, that won’t be a problem.” He chuckles to himself but Ben gives him a concerned look. He’s aware of Hikaru’s busy schedule and how he can sometimes overwork himself.

Ben doesn’t want to seem like a nag so he just nods, doing his best to smile again.

*******

Despite the movie being a bit of a drama, Hikaru feels much more relaxed afterwards. The walk home is a little colder than either of them expected, but seeing as Ben’s apartment isn’t too far away, no complaints are shared.

Besides, they’d walk with an arm around each other anyway even if it wasn’t cold.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Shika the day I took her in. I just wanted her to be a nice surprise,” Ben says before yawning and rubbing one eye.

Hikaru feels empty for a moment. Then guilty. “No, I’m sorry for being so snappy. The little annoyances were just getting to me.”

Ben just shrugs. “In all honesty, I wasn’t _really_ expecting a totally bad or good reaction. I just thought she would be a surprise. Maybe a nice one but I wasn’t betting 100% on it or anything.” In truth, he had been hoping that his boyfriend would immediately get along with Shika. Then later there could be lots of “hot boyfriend with a cute kitten” pictures.

Hikaru enters the apartment first, feeling exhausted and ready for bed. When he turns on the lights in the kitchen, he gasps and stares in dismay at the empty window sill. “No,” he murmurs, hurrying over to it only to find the orchids on the floor. Their pot is smashed and Shika is right there next to it, pawing at some of the stray leafs like they’re a toy.

The petals, however, are completely torn to shreds.

From the kitchen table, Ben can see that there will definitely _not_ be any cute moments between Hikaru and Shika any time soon. His heart sinks to his stomach.

He expects Hikaru to shout at her, or shoo her away, but it never comes. Hauntingly quiet and face blank, Hikaru just gets a paper bag and carefully starts gathering up the pieces of his mother’s pot into it. The blue, swirly-floral designs that she carefully painted on the outside aren’t recognizable anymore.

Ben loved that pot too, but he focuses on gathering up Shika before she has the chance to go after the last petal. Her carrier is in the closet and Ben needs to take her to the emergency vet office to make sure she didn’t ingest any of the plant.

By the time Hikaru has moved on to trying to gather up the plant and the soil into a bowl, Ben is heading to the door with Shika in her carrier. He turns to Hikaru before opening the door. “I’m taking her to the vet now. I’m sorry about the orchid and your mother’s pot.”

“We can talk about it later,” Hikaru says quietly, picking up the bowl from the floor and putting it by the sink. He glances over to the paper bag filled with the shattered remnants of the vase; he can’t repair it but he’s not ready to throw it away.

Some part of Hikaru is blaming only himself for leaving the orchids there, but it was the best spot since that window doesn’t get too much sun throughout the day since it faces south. The angriest part of him disagrees and can’t help but think that Shika is trying to exact some sort of threat against Hikaru.

She even glares at him through the carrier door as Ben takes his leave with her.


	3. Chapter 3

A mystery book and a hot cup of chamomile is Ben’s favorite way to end any day, no matter how difficult it may have been. Sex is better though, yet here he is, sitting in bed by his lamp to read. Even though his boyfriend, who hardly gets to visit him for more than a day or two each month, is here.

_Damn me for loving a cat that seems to be robbing me of so much._

Instead, Hikaru is pacing the room. Arms crossed and brows furrowed, he clearly is internally debating something, or at least thinking a little too hard. In Ben’s opinion, yeah, Hikaru is most likely putting too much thought into something.

To some extent, Ben understands the frustration. The pot is priceless to Hikaru, and Ben certainly loved it too. But Hikaru isn’t normally one to have a fit over objects. _Things._ And besides, Hikaru can save the orchid. It will just need time to bloom again.

“Come to bed, Karu. You’re tiring me out just watching you pace like that,” Ben says without looking up from his book. When Hikaru doesn’t reply, Ben sighs and shakes his head as he turns the page. His words didn’t seem to have been heard at all so he ignores it; if Hikaru can, he can.

It’s hard to focus on his book for too long though. The constant (though rather light) thud of Hikaru’s steps is building tension right onto Ben’s shoulders. It certainly doesn’t help that he can hear Shika whining from the living room.

 _I don’t understand this,_ Hikaru tells himself as he paces. His breathing technique isn’t working as well as it once did. _I don’t even know why I’m so mad… it’s just a cat. She couldn’t possibly have **meant** to do that. Why can’t I let it go?_ When he makes a noise of frustration to himself, he can feel Ben looking up at him now. But Hikaru can’t look at Ben just yet. He’s not really mad at Ben though.

At least, he really hopes that he isn’t.

Eventually Ben sighs and gives up on convincing Hikaru to calm down, but he can’t take the silence anymore. “Shika is fine by the way,” he says as he closes the book. “The vet said that Shika didn’t ingest any of the plant but we discussed the others. We’ll have to move a few into hanging pots. I can get a window sill planter too.” If it can be helped, Ben will do what it takes to be able to keep the plants. Hikaru grew and cared for each one just for Ben. And despite Ben’s initial reluctance to the idea of trying to maintain the beauties himself, he does fine it calming to water them. Just having them around makes his apartment feel more welcoming.

After another minute of pacing and no response, Ben feels his irritation hit its peak. _“Please_ come to bed already. I’m tired and we have a lot to do tomorrow.”

Hikaru does pause at that, but his back is turned for the moment.

Ben takes off his glasses and rubs his forehead. “I’ve never seen you this upset about anything before,” Ben tells him quietly. “I don’t know what more I can do to make you feel better. I already locked Shika out of the room for the night.” And she’s not fucking happy about it. For the past two nights that she’s been here, she’s slept on Ben’s chest and he really liked it. Having a cat again was supposed to be as nice as it was when he was a kid.

Finally, Ben asks, “Are you mad at me?”

Hikaru tenses a moment before relaxing enough to let his arms drop to his sides. He turns around and shakes his head. “No. I… I don’t know why I’m so irritated. I’m sorry for worrying you.” He walks over to the bed now, and Ben pulls back the blankets so Hikaru can climb right in. As usual, Hikaru buries himself up to the nose in the blankets. “I’m… I’m sorry in general. I know I’m moody but I can’t help it.” It’s a quiet admittance but Ben heard it.

He reaches over to comb his fingers through Hikaru’s hair, happy to finally get a chance to mess up that “Starfleet Appropriate” style. “Come here. Let me cuddle you so you’ll feel better,” Ben insists, lying on his back before patting his belly in invitation. It doesn’t take much to convince Hikaru so he moves closer to rest his head on Ben’s chest, hugging an arm over his stomach. Ben curls his arm around Hikaru in return and turns off the lamp.

“You’re such a good teddy bear,” Hikaru murmurs. His exhaustion wasn’t noticeable until now when he’s got Ben’s soothing heartbeat next to his ear and his warmth seeping into Hikaru.

“One of us has to be soft,” Ben tells him, rubbing Hikaru’s side until they both drift off to sleep.

*******

So far, the morning is going better than the day before. _A hot water shower is just what I need,_ Hikaru thinks to himself as he leans under the spray. The sonic baths are the only thing available at the Academy. They _could_ have real water baths but the sonic units are there to help get the cadets prepared for ship and space station life.

Hikaru doesn’t agree with it, but he understands the decision. For him though, hot water tends to help him de-stress the best. Then again, ships do have counselors and recreation centers so Hikaru will just have to make do when he’s out there.

For now, he lets the water cascade down his back and soothe his muscles. He’s still a little annoyed with himself for sleeping in. Ben woke up early to shower so there won’t be any naked shenanigans. _I think I deserve to have to wait longer anyhow._

Finally, Hikaru decides he’s wasted enough water. The shampoo and body soap had all be thoroughly rinsed off minutes ago so he shuts off the shower. _Guess I just got caught up thinking too much._ The holo-door dissipates and Hikaru steps out to get a towel from the rack. Ben must have snuck it in here while Hikaru was buried in his thoughts because it’s still a little warm from the dryer.

The thought makes Hikaru smile.

He gets dressed in sweatpants and a black t-shirt before going to the kitchen. Ben is already at the dining table, typing away on his PADD. Hikaru walks over to give him a kiss but just as he approaches, he hears a creaky meow and realizes that Shika is in Ben’s lap, eyeing Hikaru suspiciously. Like _he’s_ the home invader and not her.

“Excuse you,” Hikaru says to her, making Ben chuckle and smile up at him. Hikaru blushes when he realizes that he had just spoken to the cat. And in front of Ben.

“Good morning,” Ben says and leans up so they can share a quick kiss. “You’re just in time to make me breakfast. I’m doing research.”

Hikaru smiles at that, chuckling. “I’d be happy to.” He kisses Ben’s forehead, then goes to the fridge to get some eggs and ham. There’s a thump behind him and Hikaru knows that Shika jumped from Ben’s lap to follow him. Her little paws are _almost_ completely quiet on the linoleum floor but Hikaru knows she’s behind the fridge door before he closes it. She’s watching him carefully, her tail swinging back and forth.

 _For a “kitten”, she sure is dead serious about almost everything. Shouldn’t she be playing around with a string or something?_ Hikaru wonders. She’s not a baby kitten or anything. Perhaps almost a year old, but still. Young cats aren’t supposed to act like this, are they?

“If only you could set me on fire with those demon eyes of yours, huh?” Hikaru tells her. She narrows her gaze as if she understood his taunt. It’s only momentary though since her attention is torn away when she suddenly feels the need to flop on her butt and lick her hind leg.

With a shiver of disgust, Hikaru turns away and desperately clings to his appetite. “What are you researching anyway?” He asks. There’s a list of things Ben needed to look up but Hikaru just wants to hear him talk as Hikaru gets a pan onto the stove.

“I called our hotel and they said we can bring Shika as long as she doesn’t go out without a leash. So now I’m looking for tips on what we need to do to make the travel less stressful for her,” Ben explains, though he looks up at Hikaru for a moment. Pausing his scrolling, he wonders if he’ll see any sort of opposition to Shika actually going with them.

Hikaru does tense for a moment before he nods and cracks an egg over the pan. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean the trip is a few hours but she’s already been stressed from having to move here, hasn’t she?”

The statement isn’t completely without a bias to it, Ben knows that, but he appreciates the effort to _at least_ make it look like Hikaru cares. “I don’t want to cancel the trip and I’m not comfortable getting a sitter for her. I only trusted June to watch her.”

“Mr. Spock would take her,” Hikaru says rather casually. He slices some ham and places it on the pan to sizzle.

“Your commander?” Ben asks, incredulous. “The one who freaked out on deck and choked Kirk? The one who lost his whole planet a few months ago?”

“Okay, bad idea then,” Hikaru admits, sighing as he picks up the spatula to scramble the eggs. “I was just thinking that they have a lot in common is all.” Both are weirdly cranky all the time and take everything seriously. Thankfully though, Mr. Spock is not naked in any sense. “What about Pavel?” Yes, Hikaru can already picture his friend getting along so well with Shika that he begs Ben to be able to keep her. She’d be perfect company for Pavel’s mother while he and his siblings are all off on their own career adventures.

“I know Pavel talks fast but surely you remember him telling us about his plans? He’s got all that extra stuff in the labs he wanted to work on over the break.”

Hikaru kicks himself internally for forgetting all about that. He even forgot to tell Pavel good luck before getting dropped off. _Stupid me and getting focused on only my special problems._ “You’re right then. It only makes sense that she go with us and we can’t reschedule another trip to Risa later because…” He pauses, not wanted to give too much away just yet. He’s not ready to talk about the assignment. “I won’t have time off again for a while. Not this much anyway.”

“Oh really?” Ben raises an eyebrow but doesn’t press. “I see. Well, I wouldn’t want to reschedule anyway. You need some time away from all of… _this.”_ Clearly, Hikaru isn’t telling Ben something. And it seems important. Whatever it is, Ben has a strong feeling that Hikaru will open up about it when he’s ready.

“You need this too,” Hikaru says, smiling as he loads the eggs onto two plates and goes back to cooking the ham. “Those kids tire you out all the time.”

“The kids are good to me. It’s the parents that give me a hard time, really,” Ben says, recalling a father that recently came to him with many complaints. His son wasn’t doing well in math and somehow the father felt degraded by that. “I need time away from people that think that their children won’t have a future if they can’t master every subject right away.”

The ham is done cooking, so Hikaru puts two slices on each plate and brings them over to the table. He’s sympathetic to those children. Hikaru’s parents weren’t very strict with him like that but he knows the feeling of thinking you’re a failure when all your peers are advancing so quickly. “I’m sorry to hear that. I forget how some people just don’t understand that their kids are people too. Not just… smaller, sub-humans that are only good for bossing around.”

Ben nods solemnly and sets aside his device to eat. Shika hops onto his lap and meows, clearly interested in the ham. Chicken might be her favorite but so it ham.

This time, Hikaru doesn’t say anything as Ben shares a few bites with her. As long as she’s not coming after his own food, it doesn’t really matter to Hikaru, does it?

*******

“Did you pack sunscreen?” Hikaru asks, trying to get his clothes into the suitcase.

“Of course. It’s in my backpack along with two pairs of sandals so just get some comfy clothes and something to swim in.” Ben has been packed and ready for two days but he finds it cute to watch Hikaru hurryingly looking through his clothes to find which outfits he wants to take. His favorite part is watching his boyfriend quickly fold each item to be tucked away. Hikaru’s mother has told Ben that “the best” thing about Starfleet is the amazing cleaning skills they gave her son. Apparently, Hikaru use to be a mess about most things.

However, the folding is slowing Hikaru down a bit. Right now they only have an hour before they need to get to the shuttle station; Ben warned Hikaru about getting ready earlier but his stupid boyfriend insisted he didn’t have that much to pack.

So of course, he’s stuck hurrying to get ready.

As he gets down the few of his garments, he realizes something and groans. “I left my swim shorts at the Academy. Do you think we could swing by on our way to the station?”

Ben shakes his head. “We won’t have enough time. I already need to go to the pet store. Shika needs a leash.”

“Are you really going to take her out onto the beach? Don’t cats hate water?”

“Shika is a sphynx. They need regular water baths to keep their skin clean properly. She’s already to the point where she enjoys it.” Ben actually gave her a bath early this morning. If only Hikaru had been awake to see her batting at the rubber ducky and splashing around.

“Oh.” Hikaru turns back to his clothes and starts folding the rest of the stuff that he’s not taking. “Then perhaps she needs one of those inflatable things. I’m sure she’d love to float on the waves.”

“I think that would give her more anxiety than just being around the water,” Ben tells him. He knows Hikaru’s kidding but he doesn’t want to sound encouraging so he’s trying not to smile and laugh at the idea. “She’d end up popping a hole in it and screaming as it sank, and I’m pretty sure she hasn’t learned to swim yet. Besides, I was only thinking that she would enjoy playing around outside and maybe wet her toes a bit. She’s pretty playful!”

“Really? Playful? I mean I know she’s a kitten but she already acts _and_ sounds like an old lady,” Hikaru jokes as he folds his last shirt. He turns to see the stern look Ben is giving him.

“Be nice. Cats have feelings.”

“Sorry. I didn’t realize that she could understand human languages.”

With a huff, Ben can’t help but smile this time. “Hurry up already, hotshot. Shika’s waiting in the carrier and we need to get to the store.”

“Did you call a taxi?”

“No, Nyota offered to drive us. And she’s already on her way here.”

“Really? You would think that she’d be hanging out with her boyfriend.” Spock and Nyota always tailed each other around campus. It’s hard to picture one without the other, but after the mission…

Ben just shrugs. It’s not really his business and Nyota is a grown woman. She probably understands. “He’s still a professor so he’s got a lot on his plate more often than not.”

“That’s true.” Hikaru finally finishes his packing and takes his suitcase to the living room, Ben following him.

While Ben waits on the couch, Hikaru uses the last few minutes to check the auto-watering gadgets he put on all the plants (something he doesn’t normally use since he prefers to care for them himself) when he looks over to see Ben holding Shika’s carrier. He’s speaking softly to her in comfort.

It’s easy for Hikaru to imagine Ben doing that for a daughter someday. Her eyes full of tears as he holds her hand gently to comfort her while he takes care of whatever little injury she has.

But Hikaru can easily imagine that injury being a cat scratch, and he hates it. Turning back to the last plant, Hikaru adjusts the watering timer to help clear the thought from his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

“I’m glad we didn’t get downgraded for bringing the cat.” Hikaru is the first to step into their suite and it’s bigger than he expected. Not that he’s about to complain about that or anything. There’s even a balcony and it has a great view of the beach, especially since they’re on the 3rd floor.

Yet as Hikaru looks around more, he starts to really take in the room itself and the many _fragile_ things decorating it. The windows are all framed by long, draping curtains that look to be made from spun silk. The bed post is wooden and the blankets probably aren’t easy to clean. Or cheap to replace. “Then again,” Hikaru says as Ben goes to set Shika’s carrier down on the floor. “Maybe we _should_ have asked for a room that isn’t so fancy?”

“Why? What’s the problem?” Ben kneels down to open the door to Shika’s carrier. Before Hikaru can tell him to stop, Shika bolts out and scurries beneath the bed. Apparently Ben hasn’t noticed all the scratch-worthy things in the room yet. In fact he looks around the room and still fails to see what could be a problem.

“What if she causes damage?” Hikaru throws up his hands to gesture to all the curtains. “Cats love to scratch up things all the time!”

Ben stands up and pinches the bridge of his nose. Hopefully he doesn’t have to start vacation with a headache. “I wouldn’t let her out if I thought she’d just run around and do any of that. Besides, even if she does start clawing at things, it’s unlikely she’d cause any damage that would be extensively bad. A few scratches here and there? Would anyone really make a fuss about it?”

Hikaru takes a breath and closes his eyes, pressing his hands together beneath his nose to calm himself. “Okay, maybe no one will care about scratches,” he concedes, because he definitely doesn’t want to start vacation with an argument. Lowering his hands, he then asks, “But what if she pees on stuff?”

Ben waves it off. “We’ve already established that that she only pees on _your_ things. She’s never done that to any of _my_ stuff.” He then takes his backpack over to the bed and plops it on the sheets so he can sort through for Shika’s treats. Once he finds them, he pulls out the bag and shakes it.

Shika instantly appears from beneath the bed, meowing in need as she hops up and stares at the colorful bag in wait.

“Is she going to be sleeping with us?” Hikaru asks, trying not to cringe as she sits her naked butt on the nice bed and eats a few treats that Ben dropped there for her.

“If you’re worried about waking up to her sitting on your face or something, don’t. She prefers to sleep on stomachs and pillows.” Shika purrs and cuddles up to Ben while he scratches her chin and smiles down at her. He takes a seat on the bed now so she can rub against him better. “Your washboard abs aren’t appealing to her. I know, it’s a first.”

Hikaru doesn’t pout per say, but he is somehow insulted by that. _“That_ sure makes me feel better.” He takes his own bags to the other side of the bed to look for the swim shorts he bought at the gift shop in the lobby. “Well, one good thing I can say about her is that I’m glad she’s not a boy cat. Don’t know if I could stomach that.”

Ben giggles, turning to look over his shoulder at Hikaru. “Karu, if you’re suddenly sick at the sight of balls, I don’t know if this relationship is going to work out.”

“Oh please!” Relaxing a little, Hikaru feels himself lighten up for the moment. If Ben trusts that the cat won’t be a problem, he likely wouldn’t have brought her along. Besides, as far as sleeping situations go, Shika will prefer Ben since she clearly likes him better.

Upon finding his shorts, Hikaru smiles and goes to the glass sliding doors that lead out to the balcony. He’s itching to get out there and explore and they still have a few hours before the night. “What should we do first?” He asks, though doesn’t look away from the clear, blue water lapping at the shoreline. There’s a slight glitter to the sand and Hikaru makes a mental note to find a nice rock or seashell to take home. Something to decorate the cactus pot in his dorm.

Ben looks at the time and hums in thought. “I’m not sure. You don’t want to just relax for a bit?” There’s a table and two chairs out on the balcony. He likes the idea of going out there to sit for a bit and take in the view. Order some room service and have a nice meal as they waited for the breathtaking sunset.

However, knowing Hikaru, he’s not likely wanting to sit still any time soon. He’s got too much energy and having to sit during the ride to Risa was bad enough. His leg wouldn’t stop bouncing and he kept tapping the arm rest.

So it’s not a surprise when Hikaru shakes his head and turns back to Ben. “They have powerboard lessons in an hour. Or we could go hike up to the cave tunnel.”

Hiking sounds nice to Ben, but they won’t have a whole lot of time for any of that before nightfall, even if Risa is amazing at night too. He’s just not comfortable going out too far that late.

Sensing Ben’s hesitation, Hikaru tries to think of something else they can do. “I’d like to at least scope out the area first. We could pick a nearby bar or something and have a bite to eat. Shika might even be okay with that.”

Ben smiles and pets Shika some more. “Yeah, it would definitely be safer to take her on a walk rather than powerboarding.”

*******

Risa isn’t a paradise by nature. There’s an advanced weather control system in place that keeps everything _perfect._ The water isn’t too hot or cold and even though the sun is shining bright, the sand doesn’t burn your bare feet. The breeze is carefully regulated so that it’s not too windy but just enough to shake the ferns and tree leaves a little.

Hikaru has to squeeze Ben’s hand occasionally just to make sure it’s real. That they’re really here. Together.

Ben squeezes back though, smiling over at Hikaru. He doesn’t mind too much that the surroundings are completely perfect. He has that feeling around Hikaru all the time. Well, similar anyway.

Like right now. At the moment Hikaru is this beautiful specimen glowing in the sunlight. In nothing but his swim shorts, it’s plain to see that he’s athletic along with having a handsome face. And that’s on top of his amazing personality and intelligence.

He’s too perfect for Ben, and it makes the man look down at himself in that moment to compare. Ben’s stomach isn’t exactly _big_ but there’s no hard abs beneath his button up shirt. His khaki shorts come down to his knees and his brown sandals seem to oddly complete the unflattering look.

The silence up until now was comfortable but Ben’s attention isn’t on the various restaurants and bars anymore.

“You know, I think I need to dress like you more,” Ben says, drawing Hikaru to look up at him with a quirked brow.

“What’s wrong with that you’re wearing?” Hikaru finds the many Gorn men in hula skirts decorating Ben’s shirt to be quite cute on him. Everything is cute on Ben. Besides, it looks comfortable.

“I… I look like one of those lame dads, don’t I?” Ben’s insecurity comes to the surface again. He looks around nervously in that moment, wondering how many people might look at Ben holding Hikaru’s hand and think that they’re son and father or something. “I mean I look like some older guy in general. Especially compared to you.”

“Not this again.” Hikaru shakes his head. They stop walking and Hikaru squeezes Ben’s hand, the other coming up to rub his shoulder. “Age doesn’t matter as long as we’re both adults. It hasn’t mattered for over a century. Besides, you’re not that much older than me.”

“Six years is—”

 _“Not that much!”_ Hikaru insists. He grips Ben’s shoulder. “No one on Risa would give a damn anyway. We’re all just here to have a good time.”

Ben looks like he wants to disagree for a moment, and he really does, but he also knows he’s being silly. For now he nods and tries to let himself be comforted by Hikaru’s vast wisdom. “I just don’t want you to feel like I’m not trying, I guess.”

It always hurts Hikaru to hear Ben talk like this. Sometimes Hikaru actually found himself wondering if he was good enough for Ben too. Lately though, it’s been coming up more and more with Ben. He tends to think that he’s too much _this_ or not enough _that._

Somehow Ben forgets that it was Hikaru who had first approached him; Hikaru was fidgeting with his hands and even stuttered once as he asked if he could buy Ben coffee.

“You’re the most handsome guy I know,” Hikaru says, smiling as he moves to lean against Ben, holding his elbow as they continued walking. Ben is quiet but his cheeks are red; he always feels so silly after bringing up his insecurities like this and he hates that he does it. He doesn’t even know _why_ he opens his mouth sometimes.

Right now he manages a small smile though. “Really?”

Hikaru nods with a grin. “Mmhm! And that’s coming from a guy who stood in the same room as Spock and Jim Kirk.”

Ben’s blush deepens, feeling bashful now. “Oh come on. That’s—”

Just as Ben looks at Hikaru again, his boyfriend leans up to steal a kiss. Ben’s previous thoughts are out the window as he kisses back. He simply smiles and kisses Hikaru again.

For a moment they exchange shy smiles. Hikaru even ducks against Ben’s shoulder for a moment as he hugs Ben’s arm. Sometimes Hikaru thinks it’s so ridiculous that they can still reduce each other to school boys with a first crush but at the same time it’s an amazing feeling that he hopes they never lose.

It’s in that moment that Shika reminds the two _idiot, not-so-naked authorities_ that she’s there too. She gently tugs at the leash as she goes to dig in the wet sand where the water just receded from. Her little paws slop piles of sand against her tummy as she goes deeper. She doesn’t get far though since more sand slides back into the hole. She even makes an irritated sound when her paws aren’t quick enough and she gets buried up to the elbows.

Hikaru hates to admit it but it’s cute how she turns to Ben and meows for help while she slowly sinks further.

*******

Somehow Hikaru didn’t quite notice the other vacationers much as they walked along the beach. Right now though he’s having a hard time not laughing when they come across and Andorian woman and her four children in the water. They have a single inflatable raft but all the kids keep trying to pile on at once, so it inevitably sinks.

Ben doesn’t hold back a chuckle. The mother turns to them, shrugging with a smile and a wave to them before turning back when the youngest child reaches up to her with both hands. He wants to be picked up while the others begin arguing over who failed at what.

Hikaru turns his attention away as they continue walking. He tries not to get caught up in imagining him and Ben being the parents to some easily excited children. Looking down at Shika as he walks beside Ben, Hikaru wonders if the cat will _have_ to be enough for him.

“How about this place?” Ben asks, giving Hikaru something else to think about as he points to a food stand. A Risian woman waves to them from it, smiling in welcome. Just behind her is another woman working the grill; the smell of cooking fish and herbs wafts towards them and Hikaru’s stomach makes the decision for him.

The booth looks similar to the other Risian buildings. A clay-like exterior with a wooden roof. The ones large enough to require windows actually don’t have any glass panes. No doors either. At least, the places that serve food don’t. Eateries seem to welcome the synthetic paradise inside.

“Something to eat, boys?”

Ben is just happy to have an option other than re-hydrated instant meals he usually eats when Hikaru isn’t visiting.

Normally, Hikaru isn’t too adventurous but most of the seafood on the menu looks somewhat similar to foods native to Earth. Most of it, at the very least, has the “Safe for Human Consumption” sticker next to its name on the menu.

“Got anything spicy?” Ben asks. The lady is all too happy to point out several items while Hikaru simply browses on his own. He’s not interested in anything hot, especially not as hot as Ben likes it, but Hikaru thinks that anything with vegetables on the side would be good. There’s a crustacean on the menu that looks somewhat similar to a lobster so he settles with that.

By the time he’s ready to order, he looks over to see Ben sampling a crunchy, grilled fish. His cheeks are red yet he’s smiling. “Good!” He mumbles through a mouthful.

Hikaru laughs, while Shika makes a noise of annoyance since no one has offered _her_ anything yet. Hikaru definitely wants this goofball in his life for as long as the universe will allow.

Getting their food to go, they begin heading back to the hotel. The Risian sun is lower now and the two moons are becoming more visible above them. Ben takes in a breath of the fresh air as he gazes up at the largest moon. It has a slight, purple tint to it that draws Hikaru’s gaze as well.

Suddenly there’s flashes of yellow, green and blue in the sky. They both realize that it’s fireworks.

And so does Shika.

Before either man can wonder out loud what those are for, the crackling of the light show causes Shika to hiss.

“We better hurry!” Ben tells Hikaru with a worried look. Shika growls and tries to back away, pulling on the leash. Even though she’s a kitten and can’t actually tug anyone anywhere, Ben worries about her being too stressed and picks her up, carrying her back to the hotel with Hikaru right behind him.

Hikaru finds the patience not to complain about her ruining the evening, _again,_ for now since he knows Ben is too concerned for her safety at the moment. He instead reminds himself that it’s Risa and the fireworks are likely an everyday thing. They’ll get to watch them another time. Hopefully. And with Shika safely tucked away in the suite so they can enjoy it _alone._

Once inside the room, Ben goes to draw the curtains over the glass doors while Hikaru sets the food down on the small dining table.

When Ben finally puts Shika down, she runs for the bed and hides underneath. The fireworks aren’t as loud in here but it’s enough for her to be growling about it.

“Ouch!” Ben holds out the arm he was using to support Shika’s weight; Hikaru stares wide-eyed for a moment at the little claw marks dotting the skin. Thin trails of blood leak downward and Hikaru rushes to the bathroom to get the first-aid kit.

“What the hell is her problem?” Hikaru demands, growling when he fumbles to get the lid of the kit open.

Ben is just holding his arm as he walks to the bathroom, not looking particularly upset but his eye twitches occasionally from the pain. “She was scared and she was holding onto me for dear life, Karu. She wasn’t _trying_ to harm me.”

Silence falls over the two men as Hikaru just focuses on getting the wounds cleaned. Another thing to be thankful to Academy training is his first response classes because he can actually use the dermal regenerator correctly rather than having to use bandages and waiting for the area to heal on its own.

Still, Ben hates the silence and the way Hikaru seems to be burning up inside with anger as he mends the cuts.

“She didn’t mean it,” Ben whispers, using his other hand to cup Hikaru’s upper arm.

Hikaru doesn’t say anything until he has closed the last cut. “That doesn’t matter to me.”

“Karu!” Ben lets his forearm drop as he leans in closer to Hikaru, but his gaze keeps avoiding Ben’s. “She was just scared! She didn’t mean it! And look, you healed them up right away!”

“But what if she had done that to a child!?” Hikaru’s voice is suddenly loud and it’s only amplified by the bathroom’s tile walls.

Ben takes a step back, both nervous by Hikaru’s anger, and the strange question.

“What are you talking about?”

 _Good. Good. You let your fucking anxieties do the talking._ Hikaru gives Ben a look of worry before shaking his head and walking back to the room. Ben follows him, somewhat hesitant.

 _He’s graduating soon and he’s worried about a metaphorical child?_ Ben can’t seem to put the pieces together though. Surely Hikaru isn’t wanting to start a family so soon.

With Ben?

“Talk to me, Karu!” Ben pleads.

Hikaru can’t even start his pacing at that. He stops by the curtains, arms crossed. His head is hanging in shame. “Just forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

“Clearly it does,” Ben insists with a gentle tone. “Please, Karu. You’ve been so tense and I just want to help.”

Hikaru can’t take it. They were having such a nice evening and he’s gone and spoiled it. _No._ Shika, that wrinkly demon, _she_ spoiled it! Hikaru hates that he let his words slip though. Why did he bring up a hypothetical like that? What did it matter anyhow? Even if Ben were to ever want a family with him, Hikaru would miss so much. Ben would probably feel like a single parent.

And leave.

“You’re thinking too hard again, whatever it is.” Ben’s voice cuts through Hikaru’s dark cloud before he finds himself wrapped in Ben’s arms. Simply hugging Hikaru, Ben leans his head against the other’s, pleased when he feels Hikaru relax the slightest bit. “I remember you coming home after the encounter with Nero. You were so scared. You told me how terrible it was to watch all those people disappear right before your eyes. You were so numb for weeks after that. Please, Karu, don’t distance yourself from me again.”

Eyes watering now, Hikaru reaches up to grip one of Ben’s arms that’s around him. Of course Ben can read him so well. Nothing like some little cat could upset him like this. Not alone, at least.

“I’m just being dumb.”

“No, you’re not being dumb. Something wrong and you’re not telling me.” Ben squeezes Hikaru. “I want you to talk to me. Give me your expectations so I can meet them.”

So many things fly through Hikaru’s head at that. Most of it boils down to the fact that right now, he’s making Ben feel inadequate. “I don’t want you to meet my expectations because I don’t have any. I would never want you to feel like you had to fit into some sort of mold to make me happy.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Ben pulls back enough so he can turn Hikaru around. He tries to look into his eyes but Hikaru’s avoiding him again. “Do you _want_ kids?” It’s too soon for Ben though. Much too soon. Not that he’d be opposed to it forever but definitely not this early in their relationship, and especially not when Hikaru is supposed to be graduating soon.

Hikaru shakes his head at first but then scrunches his nose a little, unsure. If he’s this wound up, maybe he’d never be a good dad. “I want a family someday, I think. Not yet but…” He sighs, finally turning his gaze to meet Ben’s. “Your cat would probably still be alive if we ever bring a child into our lives. Would she even be good to have around a child?”

Ben’s eyes are sorrowful as his lip quivers. “She’s _our_ cat, Karu. Not mine. _Ours.”_

Hikaru isn’t sure how to reply, but he doesn’t get the chance since Ben continues.

“Besides, I had no idea you wanted a family with me someday. I do want that though.” He shifts his hands to rub Hikaru’s shoulders now. The fireworks have stopped outside but Shika remains hidden for the time being. “And I grew up with cats. I had been scratched a few times but it was never very deep so they all healed quickly. They do give a lot of love though.” He leans forward to kiss Hikaru’s forehead. “Besides, I know someone who began fencing at a young age. And even broke a bone falling out of a tree.”

Hikaru ducks his head. “Guilty.”

“So, Ben says, pulling his stupid boyfriend into another hug. “What’s the main problem here? Potential children feels like the tip of some iceberg.”

Hikaru sighs and hugs back. “I’m not ready to say.”

Ben nods. “That’s fine. I know you’ll tell me soon. But Karu?”

“Hm?”

“You have to relax. If it’s not going to eat you up, you can keep your secret, but please take your time and enjoy this vacation with me.”

Tears well up in Hikaru’s eyes. Ben is always so supportive and patient and Hikaru just doesn’t know why he’s being given all of that. “I will do my best, Ben. I’ve been looking forward to this so much. I don’t want to ruin it with my dumb worries.”

Ben kisses Hikaru’s cheek.

Just then, Shika finally wanders out, meowing for something.

“We should eat. But I should feed Shika first.”

Hikaru’s stomach growls and he nods. “That’s a good idea. Shika should have some of your spicy fish though. Maybe she’d learn not to beg at the table after that.”

Ben gives Hikaru a playful smack on the back and laughs. “She’d probably make a point to crap on the bed if I did that.”


	5. Chapter 5

If Risa is such a paradise, why does it have such loud birds? Birds are for waking you up for an early class. They’re for completing some sappy domestic morning in a storybook. They shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a retreat if they’re going to squawk like murder.

That’s what Hikaru thinks when he finds himself lying awake at 5:10am. Just outside the windows, perched on the trees are the Risian Paradise Hawks. Hikaru knows that they were named for their beautiful feathers that come in many brilliant color pallets. They are beautiful to see soaring over the beach, or near the hills as you hike. They’re even kind enough to not crap on people (unless you deliberately anger one).

They sound like _hell_ though.

Ben, the lucky fool, is sound asleep behind Hikaru. It’s another thing that Hikaru finds he’s envious of Ben for; the ability to sleep deeply. _Restfully._

Then again, maybe it’s best that Hikaru is woken up fairly easily. After all, he’ll be on a starship soon and being able to respond quickly to any crisis they will inevitably find is an important quality in any officer.

Ben mumbles something in his sleep and his grip around Hikaru’s middle tightens for a moment before he sighs and relaxes again. He does that every so often when Hikaru gets the chance to actually share a bed with him. Hikaru wonders for a moment if Ben ever hugs a pillow like this sometimes, or does he only do this with him?

“Stop that,” Ben mumbles, making Hikaru jump. Ben can’t be awoken by an earthquake but if Hikaru is considering something too much, he’s up in time to lecture. And now Hikaru can feel Ben smiling against his neck, humored by the reaction. “Dweeb,” Ben adds, making Hikaru huff and pretend to try and shuffle out of his grip.

“You can’t fuck me anymore if you keep criticizing my thinking process.”

“We’ve been on Risa for three days now and I haven’t fucked you once.”

“Hmf!” Hikaru knows that. He’s very much aware but it’s hard to get in the mood when Shika is constantly watching them. “I don’t know what you’re expecting from me when there’s a naked cat nearby.”

“Oh hush, Karu. Your plants were always around and I didn’t mind.”

Hikaru gasps, turning his head enough to try and look back at Ben to convey is offense. I’s pretty dark in the room though so Ben wouldn’t be able to make out Hikaru’s expression that well anyhow. “How dare you! First of all, my plants do not _watch_ and second, they are not in the bedroom!”

“What about the one in your dorm?”

“We’ve never had sex in my dorm, nor would I want to!” Hikaru groans and turns in Ben’s arms, cupping his cheeks in both hands. Ben’s lips pucker slightly, expecting a kiss but Hikaru doesn’t lean in. Instead, he squishes Ben’s cheeks, making him open his eyes and peek at Hikaru with a confused look.

“What?” Ben’s muffled by the cheek squish a bit and it makes Hikaru smile and squeezes them more. He’s clearly entertained while Ben only sighs. The morning breath draws out an exaggerated cough from Hikaru. “Oh shut up,” Ben says sarcastically.

“You made me breathe that in!”

“You think I can’t smell yours? You don’t exactly have morning breath like cinnamon rolls either,” Ben insists with a bap to Hikaru’s hip.

Hikaru giggles and the corner of his eyes crinkle adorably. There’s barely enough light for Ben to see it but it’s still his favorite think about Hikaru’s smile.

However, the mood changes rather quickly and Ben is concerned when Hikaru’s laugh dies down and he’s not smiling anymore. Before Ben can even ask what’s wrong, Hikaru moves his hands to Ben’s chest and leans in against the nape of his neck, sighing deeply.

“I got my assignment.”

“Assignment?”

Hikaru nods, now hugging Ben tight.

But Ben doesn’t understand the sudden tenseness to Hikaru. He hugs back, rubbing Hikaru’s lower back as his brain takes an extra second to figure out what he’s talking about. Of course, Ben is still tired from waking up so early but sooner than later, it clicks.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Ben remembers Hikaru once telling him about how some graduates get stuck in a weird limbo for a few weeks after graduation. And if he recalls correctly, Hikaru wanted to excel at all his classes so he’d be selected for a position right away. Now though, Hikaru doesn’t sound so excited. He was eager to get his feet in the water then, so why not now?

Eventually Hikaru takes a deep breath. “I’ve been assigned to the _Enterprise._ I’m the lead helmsman.”

“Karu!” Ben nearly shrieks in excitement. He hugs Hikaru tight, feeling so proud of him. Originally, Hikaru was assigned to the Enterprise as a fill-in for another officer but knowing that Starfleet really did see the amazing talent in him has Ben nearly in tears.

His enthusiasm is short-lived though since Hikaru is still stiff in his arms.

“That’s great, Hikaru,” Ben tells him, combing his fingers through Hikaru’s hair. “Right out of the Academy and onto the flagship!”

Hikaru’s grip tightens and Ben can feel warm tears dripping onto his skin now. “But what about us?” He asks weakly.  “I’ll be away on that ship for long stretches of time. Especially since it’s the flagship of the secondary fleet. Won’t you be… won’t you worry? Or feel lonely?”

Ben sighs, nodding. He’s still so happy for Hikaru though. None of that could tamper Ben’s pride in knowing Hikaru’s dreams are coming true. “I always worry about you already, Karu. Pavel tells me that you constantly study or train, running yourself on coffee and toast. Sometimes he doesn’t even see you when you _do_ have free time because you’ve crashed already.”

Hikaru curls into Ben, trying to hide against him but it doesn’t work. Ben cups his cheek and guides Hikaru’s face up to look at him. There’s just enough light from the two moons leaking in through the part in the curtains for Hikaru to see a glowing smile of love and support.

“Besides, no amount of stars or space rocks between us could make me feel too far from you, Karu,” he whispers.

More tears come, but it’s because of the immense relief and love he feels now. He feels so stupid for underestimating Ben’s commitment. For a moment he even feels guilty for it but then Ben is kissing him, keeping him from drowning in his thoughts again.

“Ben,” he chokes out, trying to blink away the tears but they won’t stop coming. Ben has tears of his own now as he smiles and pulls Hikaru close in a protective hug while Hikaru reaches up to grip the back of Ben’s shoulders. He doesn’t hold back anymore and just lets himself _feel._

When Ben wipes his eyes, he smiles again and kisses Hikaru. “I don’t know what you expected honestly.” He pets that soft hair some more, pleased when he senses Hikaru calming down. “Falling for some hotshot cadet wasn’t something _I_ ever expected, but I certainly _didn’t_ count on said cadet to just up and settle for some desk job near Earth for me.”

Hikaru turns red, feeling rather silly for how he’s been acting for several days now. All because he didn’t want to take a “kid’s” advice and just talk to Ben right away. Even if the reaction had been bad, at least he would have been able to move on from the subject of it right away. It’s not like his goals were a secret. _He didn’t have any expectations for me either. Just support, like I do._

“I’ll miss you,” Hikaru says quietly.

“Me too, but I want you to go. I want to know that all that hard work paid off for you.” Hikaru goes quiet again, so Ben kisses his forehead and continues with a smile. “I know how badly you want to fly. I _want_ you to be out there, doing that thing you have been needing to do since you were a kid.” The thought of another Nero lurking out there makes Ben feel cold in that moment. Hikaru could just have easily been a casualty in all of that. They could _all_ be dead if it wasn’t for his single mistake when they first tried to warp out.

Hikaru is too good to be stuck on Earth though. He’s a pilot and his heart has more integrity than any person Ben has ever met. He knows that if anything were to happen to his Karu, it would be because the man made the decision to trade his life to save someone, or everyone, else.

If that were to happen, Ben would weep and be quite lost after that, but most of all he’d still be celebrating the fact that such a wonderful man like Hikaru loved him.

“You won’t be lonely?”

“Of course not. We can still do vid calls and send messages. Besides—”

A scraggly meow comes from behind Ben before Shika pokes her head up. Hikaru can’t hold back his laughter as Shika steps on Ben’s temple with her front paws. Ben groans as she leans her weight there, but it doesn’t hurt too much. Still, he’s not about to stop Shika from having her turn to give her own little lecture as she stares down Hikaru.

“I think she’s upset that I forgot about her,” Hikaru says, looking up at her with a tired smile. She meows, though seems to be frowning. Or maybe that’s just her face. Hikaru’s not sure. Still, as his eyes look into hers, he can sense a sort of understanding developing between them.

“She says she’ll watch over me for you,” Ben supplies before Shika jumps over his head and sits between the two men, pawing at Hikaru’s cheek and meowing again. “And also wants you to grow her some nice catnip in the botany labs too,” he adds as he reaches over and pulls her out of Hikaru’s face before she can bat at his eyelashes too. He puts her on Hikaru’s side where she lies down comfortably. “She’ll miss you too. It’s only been a few days but she’s really comfortable around you.”

Hikaru makes an “hm” sound, like he doesn’t really believe the statement but he still reaches down to pet Shika’s naked head. She purrs in response instead of making cranky sounds.

He feels so stupid and childish for never having at least tried to be affectionate towards the cat. Not once did he really make an effort to do something the cat would like instead of expecting her to know when to fuck off. Just having her knock a treat from his hand once was somehow enough for him to not want to try harder.

He hopes to never let himself develop that kind of short temper ever again. _Pavel was so right. I made everything miserable._

Shika’s purring eventually leads to her digging her claws into Hikaru’s side, making him yelp. She freaks out from the reaction and hops over to Ben, who’s laughing hard.

“She tried to rip me apart,” Hikaru accuses, though he’s not upset and Ben knows it.

“I know it’s another cat thing you don’t really understand but her digging in like that just means she was really enjoying the attention,” Ben explains as he smiles down at Shika. She’s sitting on his hip now nibbling on one of her paws.

Hikaru hums and pets Shika a little more. “Cats are weird.”

“They are,” Ben agrees, closing his eyes as his exhaustion catches up to him. “You’re weird too though, and I like that a lot.”

Hikaru blushes, but before he can say anything else, Ben gives his hip a light smack. “However, I don’t like your eating habits. You need to take breaks and relax sometimes Hikaru.”

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to be doing here?”

Ben fixes him with a stern look. “You can’t _only_ relax during designated shore leaves and such. You need to get up in the morning and eat a full breakfast. Or at least _more_ than coffee and toast. If Pavel can do it, you can too.”

Hikaru huffs, averting his gaze. “The little genius can afford to slow down sometimes because his brain is a sponge. He doesn’t need to review things more than once _and_ he doesn’t easily forget one simple step in a basic process.” It will be a long time before Hikaru can get over the external inertial dampeners thing. Even if it did save all their lives.

With a sigh, Ben strokes Hikaru’s side. “I didn’t say don’t work hard. I just don’t want you to burn yourself out before you even got onto that starship.”

In truth, Hikaru can’t quite remember the times before he developed the workaholic habits. “I’ve been doing it this way since… I was thirteen at least.”

Not for the first time, Ben feels sad for Hikaru. The other kids made him feel so inadequate about everything that he felt the need to double down to surpass them. Even if that hard work soon turned to pursuit of a goal that Hikaru has finally reached, Ben knows much of Hikaru’s childhood suffered for it. “Just know that you’re a genius too. You just had to work a little more than Pavel or Kirk.” Throwing a leg over Hikaru’s legs and pulling him into a cozy cuddle, Ben hums. “Breaks are just as important as work though.”

The silence returns for a few moments, but Ben didn’t expect any response to that. He’s starting to drift off again anyway, quite content where they are. Just before he falls asleep though, Hikaru murmurs against his neck.

“I’ll do my best.”

*******

It’s 8:30am when Hikaru wakes up again. He doesn’t remember falling asleep but he notices right away that Ben isn’t next to him. Shika is fast asleep on his pillow though.

A piece of paper pokes out from under the corner of the pillow. Upon picking it up, Hikaru sees Ben’s neat handwriting and realizes it’s a note written on a piece of the wrapper from the spicy fish.

_Karu, I went to downstairs to get us breakfast. Please feed Shika since the lines are always long in the morning and I didn’t get up early enough to beat the crowd._

Quirking a brow, Hikaru realizes that he doesn’t know where the hell Ben put all of Shika’s supplies. Other than the litter box provided by the hotel, he has no clue. Even her cat treats are kept somewhere he never cared to pay attention to know.

With a deep groan he sits up, joints creaking a little. Shika apparently doesn’t like the movement, or perhaps it’s the sound because she lifts her head and gives Hikaru a long meow of irritation.

“You sound like cigarettes still exist,” Hikaru tells her, giving her a stern look as if she was actually caught smoking. She only yawns and stands, arching her back to stretch before walking over to him, putting her two front paws on his thigh and whining a little louder this time.

Clearly she understands that Hikaru is the designated food deliverer this morning and she’s not happy about the slow service so far.

As Hikaru looks down at her, he can’t help but notice that she is rather cute in a strange, naked cat sort of way. Her eyes are really bright and her ears are big and goofy. She’s the perfect kind of weird to complement Ben and Hikaru’s relationship.

She might even be the perfect strange critter that a child could love.

He smiles at the thought while petting Shika. He and Ben are good for now, and that’s what he needs to focus on. There’s no point in having anxiety about the future really and he’s going to have to work on not doing that. Or at least not letting it get in his way like it had these past few days. He knows he’ll be on the ship of his dreams and still have the love of his life waiting for him when he comes home anyway.

Plus there’s Shika, who only now is showing her charm as she purrs and leans into his hand.

“Ouch!” Of course the claws had to happen. Shika isn’t scared of him this time and doesn’t move away, so Hikaru has to pick her up and gently pull her paws off his skin, wincing. “I’ve got to get up and feed you anyway,” he admits, though with a tired smile as Shika stares up at him, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes for a split moment.

Setting her down, Hikaru gives her another pat between the elephant ears. He then swings his legs over the side of the bed, standing and popping his back with a groan. Slowly, he walks over to where their suitcases are to look for the food, but Shika seems to know that Hikaru is going the wrong way.

She jumps off the bed and runs over to a small cooler on the floor by the mini fridge, hopping on top and meowing to get his attention.

 _How did I not notice the cooler before?_ Hikaru wonders and walks over to her.

When he gets to the cooler, she hops down so he can open the lid and see that all her food is inside. Canned food and her treats as well as her bowl, washed and ready to serve her an extravagant meal in.

Well, as extravagant as dumping a can of sloppy cat food into it can be. Shika looks excited though, not caring that it looks weird at all. In fact she looks like she might even fight Hikaru for it if he doesn’t hand it over fast enough.

He takes the food over to the window sill where her water bowl is sitting. Of course, Shika isn’t ready to eat because she has to paw at the window to get Hikaru to open it a little. He doesn’t mind though. In fact he makes a note to tell Ben later how Shika had to tutor him in proper cat feeding.

Finally having some fresh air, she crouches by her bowl and happily eats the cat slop.

Smiling, Hikaru pets Shika’s back a little, which she doesn’t seem to mind at all while she chews at a big chunk of fish bits. It’s still strange to pet a cat with no fur, but Hikaru notes that her skin is warm and soft. But he can’t resist gently pinching together some of the skin to see it wrinkle more. Shika stops eating long enough to glare at him, so he quickly apologizes and goes back to just petting.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance before,” he tells her, sighing a little. “You’re not nearly as bad as I made you out to be. I’ve been more than a little on edge lately. Although I’ll never forgive you for breaking mom’s pot, I can admit that for the most part, I was wrong about you.”

Her ear twitches, yellow eyes fixed on Hikaru. It’s a little eerie for him since the way she looks at him almost makes him think that she actually understands him. She seems to be listening with a glint of pride in knowing that she was right all along.

“Please take good care of Ben while I’m on that ship.”

Shika’s response is a single blink before turning back to her food. Hikaru smiles and somehow feels better than before.

There’s a gasp from behind him and Hikaru turns to see Ben standing near the door, a teary smile on his face as he holds a tray of fruit and pancakes. Hikaru hurries over to take the tray, blushing all over from knowing Ben heard Hikaru talking to a cat again. _Their_ cat.

“I’m so glad you’re getting along with her,” Ben says as Hikaru carries their breakfast over to the table to set down.

“Grandma always said to make amends as soon as possible. I want the last few days here to be good for each of us,” Hikaru explains as he rubs his wrist and ducks his head shyly.

“I had a cat when I was little,” Ben tells him. “His name was Konto and he was the fluffiest cat. However, he was middle aged when I was born. He was my father’s cat first and June didn’t like him much but when I came home, Konto didn’t care about anyone else but me.” Ben’s eyes water a little more as he recalls his old friend.

Part of Hikaru feels even shittier about his initial treatment of Shika, but he looks up at Ben, giving his full attention.

“He was my best friend,” Ben continues. “I learned to crawl and take my first steps because I wanted to follow him everywhere. He had the softest and most beautiful orange fur.”

Ben has briefly mentioned having a cat before. And Hikaru was always aware of Ben’s aunt having quite a few. He’s a little surprised to only just now be told about _Konto_ specifically though.

“I had no idea cats were such a personal subject to you. I’m sorry for not being better about Shika to begin with.” Hikaru steps closer and takes Ben’s hand, kissing his knuckles.

Ben wipes his eyes. “Just be honest more often. Tell me when something’s bothering you before it gets out of hand.”

Hikaru nods; he’s definitely learned his lesson on that. “May I know what happened to Konto?”

“He died of old age. I was 13 when he passed away. Came home from school to find him lying on my bed. He was curled up so I thought he was sleep but he was completely still and so cold.” Ben can’t stop the tears now; it’s been so long but he missed that cat so much. “I wept for him, thinking that I was a bad friend for not being there when he died. I knew he was old.”

Hikaru hugs Ben, rubbing his back. “I’m so sorry, Ben.”

“I’m not though,” Ben adds, smiling through his tears as he kisses Hikaru’s cheek. “My father said that Konto was not alone. He went to my bed because he wanted to be close to me when he passed on.”

As a kid, Hikaru had been sad over his fish dying, but Ben’s level of attachment isn’t something Hikaru ever experienced with a pet.

“I really wanted you to get along with Shika because I’ve only just realized that you really want to be with me and… admittedly, I have thought of children before. I want Shika to be the Konto to a child one day.” He steals a kiss. “I’m glad that’s a possibility again.”

“Possibility?” Hikaru asks, smiling. “Do you think I’ll change my mind about wanting a family someday?”

“I’ve heard that the stars tend to change a man.”

Hikaru leans in so their forehead press together, both hands resting on Ben’s waist now. “They might make me wiser, and a little braver, but if anything they’ll make me want a child all the more because there’s a whole galaxy out there and I want to share that.”

“You’re such a sap, Karu,” Ben tells him, eyes shining with affection. “I love you. I never thought I’d have you even this long.”

“This long?”

Ben blushes, closing his eyes. “I did not think such a handsome, intelligent man would commit to me for even a few months. I am grateful every day that you haven’t found some other, equally attractive person in uniform.”

“Well,” Hikaru says, petting Ben’s cheek. “While you are grateful that I haven’t gone anywhere, I’m grateful that you put up with me. I know it can’t be easy for you with having to worry about me and dealing with my constant absence.”

“It isn’t, but I love you. And I know it seems stupid to get emotional over a cat but—”

“Shh.” Hikaru presses his lips to Ben’s. He certainly doesn’t want Ben feeling dumb about that. “It’s not.”

After finishing her own breakfast, Shika comes up to them and rubs against Hikaru’s ankle, purring in thanks for the meal. Ben smiles and picks her up. “Let’s eat breakfast on the balcony.”

Hikaru nods. “That sounds perfect.”

*******

“Surprisingly clear today, no?” Pavel says, looking up at Hikaru, his curls bouncing slightly as a breeze blows through. He and Hikaru are standing among a sea of other graduate cadets in wait for their shuttles to be prepped on the launch pad.

“Yeah. We got all that rain and fog, but today of all days we have clear skies.” Hikaru looks up and only sees one or two clouds rolling by. The sun is warm on his face even if the air is still a bit cold.

“Did you get to say goodbye to Ben this morning?”

“Of course I did. Got up an extra hour just so I could go to his place for a bit first.” Hikaru smirks to himself and Pavel pokes him.

“Stop it!” Pavel tells him, giving another poke. “I hate it when you smile like that.”

Hikaru shrugs innocently. “No idea what you’re talking about. We had breakfast together.”

Pavel huffs. “You are not going to be moping on the shuttle then, no?”

“No. I have no reason to. Ben did this amazing thing where—”

Pavel immediately covers his ears, cheeks burning bright red and Hikaru elbows him in a joking manner. The boy isn’t _that_ innocent but usually they don’t talk about personal things like that. Still, they like to tease each other from time to time.

“Sorry for being late,” comes a familiar voice. Hikaru and Pavel turn to see their captain approaching, his backpack slung over one shoulder. Jim has an excited grin that Hikaru has been seeing more and more as they got closer to actually getting onto the ship.

Jim pats Hikaru’s shoulder. “I’m glad you agreed to be my helmsman,” he tells him. Even though they’ve only known each other for so little time, Hikaru and Jim have come to understand each other quite a bit. Perhaps falling to your potential death together just does that to people.

“I’m honored to have been selected,” Hikaru replies. He really is. In fact he’s itching to get to that helm and onto their next mission.

Of course, Pavel likes to be in on moments too so he leans over to peek around Hikaru. “Good morning, Captain!”

“Mr. Chekov!”

Jim and Pavel discuss the latest assignment until the gates to the launch pad open. Two officers in black stand on either side of it, reading off a roster and directing each person to their designated shuttle. Hikaru and Pavel part ways with Jim when he’s called to a different shuttle from theirs.

Hikaru feels a little jittery as he finally straps into his seat. _We’re really heading out there,_ he thinks to himself in awe. Beside him, Pavel looks quite comfortable as he reads through one of his social media site feeds on his PADD.

Hikaru takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, leaning his head back to try and relax. However, Pavel’s sudden laughter draws his attention and Hikaru can’t help but peek an eye open to see Pavel watching a vid. From the looks of it, Ben posted it.

It’s another video of Shika. This time she’s chasing one of the bells that Hikaru got for her. It even has a string tied to one side for her to yank on occasionally. The next one Pavel scrolls to has Hikaru in it. Hikaru had no idea Ben had filmed it, but it makes him smile anyway.

He’s turned away from the camera, dressed in just a pair of shorts while Shika sits on his shoulder. He’s cooking dinner on the stove. Shika occasionally meows at him, to which Hikaru keeps responding: “No! It’s not ready yet!”

“I’m sending this to the captain!” Pavel says when the video finishes. Hikaru blushes and bats at Pavel’s hand to keep him from hitting the “share” button.

Still, Hikaru will miss all that, but he and Ben can make more videos when he gets back.


End file.
